A Caretaker: From Sister To Mother
One of the things about me that I’ve realized (only after looking back as a 33 year old) is that I am a caretaker. I always have been, and I always will be. I grew up with a younger sister who has severe special needs. She suffered an anoxic brain injury at birth and this has caused many developmental issues, lack of language, a seizure disorder, and many other things that require her to have round the clock care. She still lives full time with my mom, and goes to an adult day program on the weekdays.
My parents were both amazing about not forcing her care onto me while I was growing up, but it was a HUGE part of my life regardless. And her care was always something that was in my mind- at the forefront in the sense of her day to day needs, but it also lived deep in the recesses of my consciousness; the knowledge that one day it would just be her and I in this life. And that was something that always scared me, so I tried not to think of it often.
But now, looking back as a mother myself, it was this responsibility that guided the choices of my life. It helped me choose a route for grad school, to be close to home, and to her. It influenced who I would choose as a spouse- could they handle what my future might entail? And none of these things are negative. They are just honest. And they brought me to my husband, who I love beyond measure. And together we created two beautiful little souls. And those little people brought me into this world of baby sleep. And for that, I will be forever grateful. This work is my passion. It is inspiring. It is a promising piece of the world that I can change for the better (however tiny my role may be).
So when I think of how I look to care for others, it makes sense that I ended up here. Maybe this was always where I was supposed to be. And if so, thank you for being here with me. Together I really do think we can make a difference in this world- one sleepy little babe at a time.
